Chuck vs The Pillow Fight
by AwesomeMJay
Summary: Let's have a pillow fight! No seriously... A weirdly funny fanfic that is fluffy like a... chicken?
1. Stealing Socks

**Author Notes: **This is my first submission to enjoy!

**Chuck vs The Pillow Fight**

**Chapter One  
**

Thud. His racing heart pounded as though it were a wild animal trying to escape from captivity, the blood rushing beneath his skin which was currently covered in goose bumps. He slowly released his vice-like grasp from the steering wheel of the Nerd Herder and directed his attention to a single red rose that sat on the passenger seat next to him. His warm, inviting brown eyes nervously shot like darts as he tussled with a stray curl on his forehead. Inhaling one final breath he clutched onto the prickly red rose digging a thorn into his palm. He sighed, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket and dabbing the small wound. He shoved the handkerchief back into his pocket and forced a lopsided smile onto his face. _Am I making a mistake?_ He thought quietly to himself.

After five minutes of rationalising his choices he had made a final decision - to continue with his current plan of action. Forcing his hand to the Nerd Herder's handle he stepped out of the small car, supporting himself on the roof of the herder as his legs felt like they would buckle. There was no turning back. He slammed the door shut and began to walk slowly towards the intimidating, looming doorway of the hotel. His black converse trainers bounced off the dark tarmac that divided the car park from the entrance to the hotel.

He came to a halt at the electric doors, he could still turn back and pretend he was never here, ignore the situation, pretend it wasn't important. He stood silently collecting his thoughts about their relationship, the thing under the undercover thing, deciding that it was definately the strangest in LA and that included Morgan's.

A warm surge of air greeted him when he walked through the doorway into the classy lobby that could quite possibly lead to his demise. He paused a second wondering once again if this would be the correct choice for him, after all it could complicate the situation even more. The doorman gazed at him curiously as he began a game of stepping forward then stepping backward to his original place. This was it. He would bite the bullet and go. Biting the bullet... the irony of the phrase was not lost on Chuck.

Anxiously he clambered into the elevator. Quickly punching in the floor number, he impatiently pressed it again until eventually the metal doors crashed shut. The elevator rushed upwards to the desired floor as his mind raced with possible outcomes to the situation, one that would change his life for the better then one that would crush him totally. The outcome of these events would be life –changing, that was for sure.

As the elevator slid to a halt at his designated floor he slowly stepped out to stand in front of the metal door as the elevator travelled to the next floor. He calmly walked to her door and stood outside twirling the red rose between his fingertips, he took a deep breath in and in and exhaled it loudly. Closing his eyes he gulped, louder than he had anticipated, she must know that he is here now. He knocked loudly on the green door, _no turning back now _he thought to himself.

The door swung open slowly as the head of a stunning blonde haired woman appeared next to the door. She flashed him a dazzling smile that could light up the whole room. Gazing into her crystal blue eyes, he stepped forward and handed her the red rose. It would be surprising to the average citizen of LA to consider this dazzling woman to be a deadly CIA agent, luckily he wasn't just an average citizen of LA. He knew the blonde well and had come to call her Sarah even though he knew it wasn't her real name

"Chuck, I didn't expect you today" she exclaimed as she put the rose up to her nose and inhaled its sweet fragrance. She motioned him in and began to walk towards her bed.

"Erm... Yeah me neither." He replied watching her content expression change to one that seemed puzzled. He followed her and sat down on the bed beside her, giving her a nervous smile.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I mean... I, you know wasn't expecting to come... over, you know... here."

She chuckled to herself at his excessive babbling, something she had come accustomed to.

"Ok."

"Don't I get more than a one word reply?"

"No."

He stared at her before they both burst into a fit of laughter, lightening the thick atmosphere that was suffocating them. She began the conversation once again.

"So what brings you over here?"

"Actually, you."

"I gathered that much, I mean why. It's almost 11:00PM so you should be at home. Casey will be annoyed to say the least."

"Fine, you caught me, I came to burgle you."

"You did? And what would you steal?"

Realising that Sarah had called him upon his bluff Chuck stammered as he searched the room for something that he could have came to steal.

"I came to steal your... erm... your... "

Ah ha! Spotting a stray sock lying on the floor next to Sarah's bed he grinned and pointed towards them. "Your socks! But I decided against it because they're a bit too fragrant for my liking."

Sarah dropped her mouth in shock pretending she was extremely offended. She crossed her arms and turned away from him as he laughed uncontrollably. She knew he was distracted by his fit of laughter so she quickly grabbed one of her pillows and started hitting him with it.

"My. Socks. Do. Not. Smell. BAD!"

She shouted in-between each buffet from the pillow as it continued to pound against his face as he tried to defend himself with his hands.

"I'm afraid they do!"

"Oh yeah?"

'Come on this is unfair! At least give me a pillow!'

She stopped momentarily to ask him if he was sure about his request.

'You want a pillow?'

'Yes.'

'Here then!'

She whacked him over the face again grinning smugly.

"Not like that!"

Finally she allowed the laughter to take over her body and gradually the hits with the pillow became softer. Seeing his opportunity he rugby tackled her onto the bed.

"You know there are many ways I could get you off me right now... There are eight ways that I'm currently positioned that would inflict serious pain, two that would cause mild discomfort and six that would cause immediate death"

She smiled as she saw Chuck's face fall to a look of sheer horror before turning into a giant grin.

"I call your bluff."

"It's not a bluff!"

"I'm afraid it is."

"And how do you know it is a bluff, Mr Intersect?"

"Because, I know it is."

"Because isn't a reason! Tell me now Charles Irving Bartowski... Before I get annoyed"

"You can't harm the intersect."

She growled at him and shot her eyes to look to her left, he grinned smugly contented that he'd beaten her. She brought her eyes back to meet his and moved her left hand onto his cheek and slowly moved it down. He slowly leant down to her until their noses brushed over each other slightly sending a warm tingling feeling pulsing through his body. She grabbed his neck with her hands drawing his head further until their lips crashed together releasing a passion-filled kiss.

Their tongues danced, captivating them in a sea of passion. The kiss became hungrier and more fervent as the zeal and excitement of the moment pulsated through their bodies . Breaking away from the kiss both of the participants gasped for more air as Chuck stared into her eyes once more before initiating the second kiss, more tender and loving this time. The adoration filled their bodies until Sarah finally broke the kiss once again.

"No, Chuck we can't."

His face and body stiffened as he pulled himself up off the bed as he pulled his hand over his mouth briskly wiping it. She licked her lips for a second savouring the moment they had shared. No this is silly you're an agent and he's an asset. Throwing him an apologetic look she began to move out of the way but a hand stopped her.

"No, sit down for a second."

"Chuck?"

She stared at him in confusion wondering why he was forcing her to stay and stare at him.

"What are you doing Chuck? Challenging me to a staring competition?"

She joked trying to lighten the thick overpowering atmosphere that surrounded them. A light hearted smile she threw in his direction surprisingly didn't get her one in return. Instead he shook his head, clearing his throat as he stopped.

"No Sarah. I can't do this anymore..."

"You can't do what?"

"Sarah. Please just let me talk and give you my opinion for once."

She pursed her lips together and nodded for him to continue as she recalled the past events in her memory.

"You can't keep giving me these mixed signals like this. You know I'm never going to be a super spy like Bryce Larkin, I'm never going to be perfect..."

She opened her mouth to speak then decided it would be best not too. He gulped then continued to speak.

"But... I love you and if what you want is another Bryce Larkin it's something that I can't be and if that's not enough for you..."

He paused and finally met her eyes.

"Then I'm not enough for you."

"Chuck..."

"No Sarah, you either tell me now that you have feelings for me or I leave forever, I'll never bother you again."

"I don't like this ultimatum. "

"Well I don't like this emotional game of dodge ball we're playing. It's your choice. It's now or never."

He threw his arms up into their air turning away from her for a moment before standing in front of her. Trying to consider all the possible outcomes his eyes began to dart across the room showing his anxiety. He stared at her awaiting his answer. Their eyes met as she reciprocated the same fear.

"So what's it going to be?"

**Special thanks to **Arathorn73 **for keeping me from ruining the story and being a great beta reader! :P**


	2. The Force is Strong

**Author's Notes/Babblings: **I have decided to continue on the story but if you think you got that question answered that quickly... Think again. I checked this one on my own and tried to rectify as many mistakes as I could and if I haven't caught them all and there are grammatical errors I apologise! Review and you get cookies?

**Chapter Two**

The thick atmosphere suffocated the pair as a deafening silence swept across the room. His once defiant eyes had now turned to gentle pleading brown orbs that awaited her inevitable heartbreaking response. Shifting his weight uncomfortably, he drew his eyes to look directly at hers.

Dumbstruck at how quickly the events had turned Sarah began to recite rules of being an agent through her head. Masking her discomfort as the usual calming effect of the rules had started to show the opposite effect. Realisation was dawning on her as to how many orders she had violated on this mission, her perfect track record tarnished with her lack of control. Summoning the courage to speak she was afraid that her voice might break. Reassuring herself that he couldn't mean that, she spoke quietly challenging his question.

"You don't mean that Chuck."

He audibly gulped as his eyes met hers. She silently cursed to herself that because of her world filled with secrecy and lies she would have to break an innocent man's heart, who was already unwilling led into a deceitful life. Searching his eyes for a hint of his next answer she realised that she had failed to find an indication of his response. Why must he have this effect on her? A highly trained CIA agent should, without doubt, prevent this from happening. How could she be so stupid as to fall for her asset?

"You're probably right. When I see you tomorrow on my lunch break or at Castle I'll probably be have returned to being the same love struck puppy as I was yesterday but I _need _to know if this thing under the undercover thing is ever going anywhere."

"Chuck, I..."

A noise interrupted their conversation., What is that? It sounds like a song... Perhaps a ringtone? Recognising the song quickly as she remembered their first night together on their explosive date. It chanted the lyrics repeatedly.

'Any way you want it that's the way you need it anyway you want it...'

Chuck showed a lopsided grin whilst fumbling in his pocket for the offending item. Sarah chuckled to herself at his comically timed phone calls. She guessed it would be Casey complaining about his late night adventures to her aparment.

"Erm... sure?"

Sarah stared at him as she saw the look of anguish wash across his finely chiselled features.

"Can you not at least tell me what happened?"

"Well my sister is Dr. Bartowski"

"You don't do favours ok..."

"Yes I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Yes, thank you. You have been most helpful..."

"No I was not being sarcastic"

"Thank you, bye."

Tears threatened to spill from his worried eyes as his hands begun to shake slightly. The concern she felt for him was uncontrollable as she rushed over to him placing her hand on his shoulder lowering herself down to his now slumped form.

"Chuck what's wrong?"

"It's Morgan... He's in the hospital"

* * *

Racing through the streets of LA at 12:11PM was not Sarah Walker's idea of fun especially not because of Chuck's gnome like friend. Morgan Grimes. How to describe the little bearded man? Although she _should_ be grateful that his hospitalised state had given her an escape route from Chuck's prying tendencies for the night... No, stop this. You're happy Chuck's _best _friend has been injured in some way? No wonder he called you a robot... Hating this battle of her conscience she focused on the desolate road, they must've broken hundreds of rules and it was a good job that no police patrol cars had seen them.

They hadn't spoken a word since their argument over whose car they would take to the hospital. Chuck had insisted on the Nerd Herder because he wouldn't be able to go home without it, whereas Sarah had argued the Porsche was faster and she would be able to take him back to get his car. They had finally agreed to take the Porsche when Sarah had threatened him informing him that Morgan would not be the only one needing medical assistance if they didn't take the Porsche. When they exited the roundabout the hospital came into view as the Porsche accelerated gliding down the road at a terrifying speed as if they were afraid it would disappear.

They parked the Porsche close to the entrance of accident and emergency before scrambling out and sprinting towards the doorway of the hospital. How could he run this fast? He _never _runs this fast on missions, she made a conscious note to ask him about it later. Eventually she caught up with him as they tore down the hall way until they reached the receptionist's desk.

"Morgan. Grimes. Where. Is. He?"

Chuck panted rapidly spacing out a word in-between each breath. It's a good job they are at a hospital because Chuck looks as though he might die she thought to herself. The receptionist looked over her computer screen giving Sarah a sympathetic gaze before searching through the database for information of Morgan's whereabouts. The receptionist looked up again casting a sympathetic look towards Chuck.

"I'm sorry sir, but there is no record of a Morgan Grimes,"

"That can't be right, you RUNG me! I came down here so there _must_ be a mistake."

"Once again I apologise, but there is no record on here of a Morgan Grimes."

"Hey Chuck!"

Turning quickly to where the voice came from, there stood the small bearded men wearing a neck brace began to wave for Chuck to come over. His panic stricken face showed a slight hint of relief as he rushed to Morgan's side and began a series of rapid fire questions.

"How? What did you do? When did you get here? I mean how long have you been here?"

"Woah! I mean dude it was terrible, one minute I was in your room playing with your Obiwan Kenobi action figure and this dude challenged me to a Call of Duty game so I was like totally yeah I'll slay you man! I bet it was one of those LargeMart goons..."

"MORGAN!"

"Oh yeah but anyway I put Obiwan somewhere safe when I was playing and got killed I swallowed his lightsaber, it's a common mistake really..."

"Why did you have my figurine in your mouth?"

"Aren't you going to comfort me? I've had a traumatic experience today dude."

"Hey little buddy it's all ok now. But why are you wearing a neck brace?"

"But your sister man, I mean dude she saved my life, it was her idea for me to keep my neck straight, you see one second I was a goner with this lightsaber in my throat then the next she saved me..."

Morgan was now grinning widely as he recounted his time with Ellie and the pair of tongs, so transfixed in his story he has not noticed her approaching behind him.

"I mean dude we were so close I could feel her breath on my beard, we were so close I mean soon it's going to be Brother Morgan!"

She cleared her throat behind him causing him to jump before making kung fu gestures towards her until he realised it was Ellie.

"Hey Elle we were just talking about you weren't we Chuck?"

"Yeah sure... Hey Elle."

"I'm sure you were Morgan, and I told you that you didn't that neck brace... Hi Chuck."

Morgan turned back towards Chuck nodding his head violently and silently mouthing 'Oh yeah' before putting his thumbs up towards his friend. He winked as he turned and hugged Ellie squeezing her tightly as he spoke quietly so only her and Chuck could hear.

"I just wanted to thank you for saving my life..."

"Ewww Morgan! Get off!"

"Just in a second... Mmmmmm..."

"MORGAN! No touch policy."

He withdrew slowly pulling his hands back from around Ellie's waist staring at her with a look of utter confusion on his face.

"I thought we revoked that one?"

"No Morgan."

"Yes I remember because we were sat in the living room and you and Anna were feeding me popcorn and giving me a grape soda when you finally admitted your undying love for me and you were telling me how you loved my... Hey wait! That was my dream... I could've sworn that was true..."

Ellie rolled her eyes and gave Chuck a subdued smiled after she noticed Sarah, who Chuck had long forgot about during Morgan's re-enactment of his escapade. Wondering what Ellie was grinning out Morgan peered out in search of his competition for her affections. Shock plastered on his face as he noticed none other than Sarah Walker stood behind Chuck.

"Wow. Sarah. I mean... You're going to give people heart attacks wearing that... But if you were looking to help me recover I wouldn't mind..."

Puzzlement crossed Sarah's face as she began to scan her outfit... Oh god no! She was only wearing one of Chuck's old t-shirts, which she had claimed as her own, and a pair of pink girls' boxer shorts. A flush of bright red covered Sarah's face as she remembered rushing out of her apartment with Chuck as soon as he got the phone call. Chuck looked just as embarrassed as he quickly covered her in his slightly warm jacket sharing a nervous smile.

"We were just so worried that I forgot what I was wearing... We just came straight from my apartment..."

"My man and his girl making love under the moonlight..."

"MORGAN!"

"Just saying dude. I mean who wouldn't?"

Morgan showed a cheesy smile at both of them before winking at Sarah whose mouth was slightly gaping from Morgan's outburst. She would definitely not forget this night in a hurry she sighed.

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Chuck in any way shape or form but if you'd like to give me him I would totally accept...

There will also be no real cookies... They are a figment of your immagination.


	3. Stalker with Cutlery

**Author Update:** Sorry I kept meaning to post this but things kept coming up! It's like everything was set against my third chapter! Enjoy.

Oh and I don't own Chuck but if you'd like to give me Zachary Levi I wouldn't oblige.

**Chapter Three**

Chuck woke up to be met by unfamiliar surroundings, well technically the room wasn't unfamiliar, in reality it was all too familiar but he _never _slept here. Recalling the night's events he plastered a goofy grin on his face until his thoughts were disturbed by U2's 'Beautiful Day' blaring out from the alarm clock he had bought from the BuyMore for the formerly sleeping beauty lay beside him. She stirred on her side of the bed as he felt her arm snaking underneath her pillow for some sort of concealed weapon.

"Don't"

"Don't what? You're eyes aren't even open"

"Don't throw that knife you are holding at the alarm clock that _I _bought you to replace your last one..."

"I wasn't going to..."

"Yes you were"

"Fine."

"Fine."

Silence fell between the two but it didn't bother the surprisingly relaxed Chuck who appeared at ease with Sarah instead of acting like his usual bumbling self. She stared at him quizzically resisting the temptation to run her fingers through his luscious brown curls that were making funny animal shapes. Abruptly interrupting her thoughts he spoke.

"Stop it"

"Stop what?"

"Staring at me..."

"I wasn't staring at you..."

"Yes you were! You _so _were!"

"I _so _wasn't"

"It's creepy and stalker like."

"Even if I was it wouldn't be creepy and I prefer secret admirer."

She stated it in a matter of fact tone acting as though it was a perfectly normal thing to say, his eyes crept open slowly like rusted door hinges until he saw Sarah's playful glare focused on him. Showing his own playful glare he rolled his eyes sarcastically and replied in a challenging tone.

"Big difference... Secret admirer aka a stalker with stationary"

"Geek."

"Blonde... Hey wait a second I said I prefer nerd!"

"Blonde? Is that supposed to be an insult Mr Bartowski?"

"I... Erm... Uh... I mean... Y-No... I mean why would... No... NO."

It took all her strength not to burst out laughing right there because of making Chuck squirm thinking he had actually offended her. She schooled her facial expression to show a mix of hurt an anger planning her next method of assault on an unsuspecting Chuck as she watched him continue babbling trying to make sense of his insult by saying how he liked blonde hair and how it looks good and how he hoped he would suit that hair colour. Realising how much he was trying to make sure that she wasn't offended by his statement she realised the best payback was to show him how hurt she was. She began to bring tears to her eyes and let them fall freely down her face as she let out a small sniffle. He looked up at her with a panic stricken look and began to hold her close and comfort her.

"Do. Y-You. Think. That. I'm. Stupid?"

She asked in-between each sniffle she looked at Chuck with her bright red tear stained eyes and buried her face back into Chuck's undershirt that was beginning to become soaked in the CIA agent's tears.

"No of course not Sarah... I mean I didn't know what I was thinking... I... Erm... Please don't cry... I didn't mean too..."

"You're right I am stupid!"

"No you're not! You're beautiful, funny, smart, sweet... Come on Sarah stop crying... I didn't want to offend you honestly... If I knew this would happen I wouldn't have... I didn't mean to insinuate or anything..."

Sarah's shoulders began to heave as her laughter took the better of her and she burst into an uncontrollable giggle fit. With a hint of confusion he looked down at the blonde creature that was desperately trying to subdue her laughter.

"Wait! You were _faking _it? This is just a new low..."

Controlling her laughter she spoke spacing out each word between a laugh.

"I. Didn't. Mean. To. Offend. You!"

She mimicked bursting into laughter once again and burying herself deeper into Chuck's torso trying to keep herself upright. He began to slowly remove his arms from Sarah's waist as he began to pull away from her hysterical laughter. He pulled away from the bed and picked up his shirt putting it on quickly whilst fumbling with the buttons. Still recovering from her laughter she allowed it to subside and focused on Chuck's face that was a mixture of annoyance and hurt.

"Come on Chuck, it was just a joke"

"Well it wasn't funny. I should have listened to FULCRUM at Meadow Branch."

"What are you talking about Chuck?"

"That you just like to manipulate me, that's what this is isn't it?"

"No, of course not. How could you think that?"

Anger and frustration began to build between the two and soon their simple joke had somehow escalated into a full blown argument. They began shouting louder and impersonating each other to get their points across.

"Well maybe if you weren't so hot and cold all the time! 'I like you Chuck, no we can't be together it would be unprofessional, I love you Bryce, I love you Cole' "

"Oh that's real rich coming from you! 'I love you Sarah, I love you Jill, we have to break up'"

"Well if you weren't such an ice queen!"

"Well maybe if you stayed in the car!"

"Maybe I will!"

"Maybe you should."

"Good! And while I'm at it I should find a new cover girlfriend!"

"Fine! See if I care"

"I will."

"You should!"

"I'm breaking up our COVER! You know the thing you keep teasing me and manipulating me with!"

"How am I MANIPULATING YOU?"

She screamed at him glaring at him with her fiery eyes that were staring into a pair of fury filled brown orbs. Defiantly she continued yelling loudly at him.

"HOW COULD I EVER FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE LIKE YOU?"

"I WAS THINKING THE SAME!"

_Oh yes I left it there._


	4. Puss In Boots

**Authors Note: **I didn't know whether to leave to hanging for a couple of days or just post this the day after, it is pretty fluffy and quite a lot of it is nonsensical thoughts from inside Chook and Sarah's heads so :P Don't worry I'll go back to the physciatric ward soon! I'm not too sure how many more chapters it will be... I don't really have a plot line I just go with a thought trail. Enjoy!

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Chuck but if you find they are giving away Bryce now he has been killed I'll have him!

I promise fake cookies for real reviews!

* * *

Previously on Chuck...

Chuck made an ultimatum. ..

"_No Sarah, you either tell me now that you have feelings for me or I leave forever, I'll never bother you again."_

"_I don't like this ultimatum. "_

"_Well I don't like this emotional game of dodge ball we're playing. It's your choice. It's now or never."_

Morgan interrupted his man and his moonlit mood...

"_Oh yeah but anyway I put Obiwan somewhere safe when I was playing and got killed I swallowed his lightsaber, it's a common mistake really..."_

Chuck woke up somewhere strange and a manipulation was uncovered with possible dire consequence...

"_How am I MANIPULATING YOU?"_

_She screamed at him glaring at him with her fiery eyes that were staring into a pair of fury filled brown orbs. Defiantly she continued yelling loudly at him._

"_HOW COULD I EVER FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE LIKE YOU?"_

"_I WAS THINKING THE SAME!"_

**Chapter Four**

Realisation slowly dawned upon her as she released a small gasp bringing her hands to cover her mouth desperately longing to be able to take back her words. They both stood there facing each other in silence, but not the kind of silence that is good or bad in a sense... She supposed it was a silence for both of them to gather their thoughts on her rather loud declaration of her feelings.

His breaths had become heavy in a frantic attempt to decide how he would cope with Sarah's affirmation of her feelings for him. This had changed _everything. _Would this mean they'd be able to have a real relationship? Wait, was Casey monitoring Sarah's room? Wait if he did that it would be creepy... Well Casey is creepy. I mean he watches my room... Does Sarah know? Does Casey like watch her change? No. Of course not, Sarah would kill Casey. It was his job to monitor me so... Wait... Why is my sub-conscious babbling to itself?

Why is he not talking? He should be talking, why isn't he talking? Stay calm Walker... But my name's not even... Suck it up Walker! Why is my sub-conscious channelling Casey? I am definitely Sarah Walker. This is me. God I'm giving myself a migraine. Why am I nattering nonsense? I blame Chuck. Chuck got us into this mess... Us? Yes us! You, Sarah Walker, Jenny Burton, Katie O'Connell... Great now I feel like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. Note to self _never _let Chuck talk you into watching gnomes and elves fighting psychotic orcs things. It sounds more like a gardener's nightmare... Come on just say something! Anything! He isn't say anything because he is processing... Just talk!

Wait... Sarah Walker loves _me. _You know Sarah Walker that blonde goddess creature whose pictures are flooding your iphone which really would be stalker like if I wasn't her cover boyfriend. But if she loves me does that mean I'm her real boyfriend? No you need actual confirmation of boyfriend girlfriend relationship status because if everyone assumed they were dating each other the world would be chaos. Stop thinking! Remember what you told Morgan! Your brains always screw things up. I guess that's literal with the intersect... No Chuck FOCUS. Sarah Walker LOVES you. She freaking loves you! And she just shouted it at you! You'd be stupid to think she secretly meant that she hated you...

Okay that's it I'm going to say something he refuses to talk so I will.

"I... Ugh... Gah-eh..."

Ok maybe it wasn't such a good idea to talk when you don't feel coherent enough to talk sensibly to yourself... Wait did I just think that? Why has he started smiling? There is nothing to smile about I just said I lo-luh-lu-liked him a lot... Oh screw it I just told him I _loved _him! Why is he smiling? He should be halfway to Australia by now. This is like telling him 'Hey Chuck how was work and by the way I'm having triplets'. What if I did have triplets? Would Chuck still be around... Why am I thinking this scenario? I'm crazy. It's official. I should have it stamped on my forehead. If I had crazy stamped on my head would I get more street cred?

Now I have to figure out what 'I Ugh Gah-eh' means... Maybe it's code? Does she have a SWAT team commanded under that code and they'll come and kill him? No... I am Garfield? Is she a fan of that huge cat? Maybe she wants a kitten... Ok Sarah Walker loves you, just stop grinning like the Cheshire Cat. Is that why she said Garfield? No Chuck just say something, anything. Well nothing to do with cats.

"Y-You love me?"

She nodded slowly and he felt his grin widening to new extents which he didn't believe were humanly possible. He had probably strained a muscle from smiling this wide.

"Chuck?"

"Yes?"

"Stop smiling like that!"

"I can't..."

"Why can't you?"

"Because you love me! I mean you are Sarah Walker! And you love ME!"

"Yes, Chuck. The cat is out of the bag, now could we please just drop it?"

"So you do want a cat?"

"What?"

A look of pure puzzlement swept over Sarah's face whilst she attempted to understand what Chuck's cat code phrase was for. Why would she want a cat?

"I mean we could get a ginger tabby and call it Garfield and it would sort of like Garfield but it wouldn't be because Garfield is a cartoon... But I could get it a Garfield poster?"

"Chuck... I don't want a cat."

"Oh, ok then... I just thought you may want a cat..."

"Why would I want a cat?"

"I'm not sure it was you who mentioned Garfield..."

"When did I... Never mind."

"Ok. But _you_ love _me_!"

"Fine yes I do. Now Chuck stop repeating it!"

"But I love you and you love me!"

"What do you want from me Chuck?"

"Nothing, it's just. YOU LOVE ME!"

He grabbed her hands and started jumping around in a circle dragging Sarah with him chanting 'you love me' constantly. He released her hands and begun dancing around her hotel room screaming to his highest capacity. He wide eyes stared at him as he pranced around the room like a kid who got all the presents they wanted for Christmas. She began to grin which was soon followed by a chorus of laughter as she watched him frolicking around her room. He stopped and jumped onto her bed and started jumping up and down flailing his arms crazily.

Seeing her laughing he ran up to her hoisted her onto his shoulder and began to spin around with his contagious laughter spreading throughout the entire hotel room. Finally becoming dizzy he collapsed on the bed with Sarah on top of him having a fit of that uncontrollable laughter which had become music to his a long time ago.

"You love me."

He whispered to himself finally letting it sink into his brain.

"Yes I think we've established that I love you."

"And I love you."

"I know!"

Their faces were inches apart as the mood in the bedroom soon became more serious within seconds as she leaned down and pressed her lips onto his. The kiss was slow and gentle unlike their other kisses it held an underlying promise to try to make their newly found relationship work. They were both captivated by the kiss until a noise began to try pry through their intimate moment. Catching her breath she stared into his warm brown eyes gleaming with adoration, she grinned then glanced at the door which was the source of the sound.

"Looks like some one's at the door."

"Shall I get it?"

"No I will"

"Hey it could be FULCRUM, I mean they could take me now because you love me..."

Smirking as she clambered up from Chuck's torso allowing their hands to linger for a moment before making her way towards the door. She couldn't help but have a little spring in her step seeing as she had just declared her feelings for the man she loved. Yes _loved._ Nothing could bring her down today. She glanced back at Chuck who was still grinning like a dog who finally got a bone. And that was when Sarah Walker tripped over the Obiwan figurine that Chuck had brought to her apartment with him after confiscating it from Morgan.

It happened quickly and before she knew it she had hit the floor, face first, and not very gracefully. But how do you fall gracefully? Chuck had rushed over to her side immediately and had begun to pick her up and was babbling out an apology.

"I mean if you don't want Obiwan he can be Obi-Gone, he may just be jealous... I mean how can a toy be jealous? Oh my god I'm so sorry! If I knew I would have tripped over too... Or instead of maybe none of us would have tripped and Obiwan wouldn't have made you fall..."

"Chuck I'm fine."

"Oh my god! You're bleeding, you're bleeding. Sarah I'm freaking out here..."

"Chuck just get the door"

"Ok, door. Chuck. Door. Ok. I'll get the door"

He rushed over to the door and opened it quickly whilst Sarah was clambering up from the floor trying to cover her nose with a blood coated hand. Staring at the man clad in a blue police uniform who was looking from Chuck to Sarah. With his mouth agape Chuck began to speak.

"Hello, erm... Officer... How can I help you?"

"We were called about a disturbance."

"Oh, we just had a small disagreement... I mean I wouldn't even call it a disagreement more like a thought collision... But she loves me!"

"And in this 'thought collision' you didn't happen to cause a disturbance?

"I see how some people could see it as a... disturbance... "

Sarah appeared beside Chuck.

"Ma'am did this man do this to you?"

"I mean I did technically do this but not like that! I mean never, it was just that Obiwan was there and it sort of happened it was an accident!"

"It's ok ma'am you're safe to speak"

He spoke softly then focused a glare on Chuck and he began to assess his chances at beating him in a fight. Sarah began to defend Chuck.

"No of course not!"

"It's ok ma'am many people are in stuck relationships, you can get help"

"But he didn't..."

"Did you do this to this woman?"

He asked gesturing at Sarah's nose.

"Well I suppose technically..."

"Yes or no."

"Yes – but..."

"Sir I am placing you under arrest under the grounds of assault. You have the right to remain silent, you do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you say may be given in evidence. Put your hands behind your head please."

Chuck obeyed but a look of horror and confusion was plastered on his face as the officer hand cuffed him harshly.

"It makes me sick that men like you beat their girlfriends."

"But..."

"It sickens me!"

"Sarah?"

Sarah was amazed at the situation that Obiwan had created, he seems to create a lot of problems.

"Officer, please let Chuck go he didn't do this! I tripped over Obiwan!"

"It's ok ma'am you're safe now"

He turned Chuck around and began to march him out of the hotel, the worst thing about it for Chuck was that he was only wearing his undershirt and boxer shorts. Ok Chuck... Don't freak out. Well I guess Obiwan could bring me down today.

* * *

You really thought I wouldn't leave it like this? Seriously have you read the last three chapters?


	5. Where Sleeping Drunks Lie

**Author's Notes: **I apologise to the readers who found the last chapter confusing but how it played out and how I wanted it to play out if that makes sense? The thoughts from the two were meant to be totally random and something that basically no one, well obviously everyone but me because I thought of it DUH! But the point I was trying to get across is how muddled up they are starting this new relationship and that Sarah is letting her guard down and when the officer came it was meant to be very fast paced and that Sarah was basically star-struck at how quick events had turned. It was meant to show how compromised she is and the whole scenario was really a set up to have the jail scene! Hope that cleared things up. If people didn't understand the thoughts I don't blame them my brain is very... Complex? Ha ha! If I keep baffling you guys feel free to run me over with a Wal-mart trolley... A _fake _Wal-mart trolley please! Review! Review! Review!

I'm going to try and write a few chapters quite quickly and edit them before I get hounded by my school again so be warned the next few chapters will probably be fluffy with comedic twists.

**Chapter Five**

"... And when the officer saw she had tripped on Obiwan he assumed I hit her which I didn't but it was my fault she hurt herself!"

"So you told Sarah that you loved her, then got a call from the hospital about your best friend Morgan, who has a beard, to find he had swallowed Obiwan's lightsaber. Then you discovered Sarah was only wearing a t-shirt in the hospital and Morgan got slapped by your sister Ellie, who is a doctor, for revoking the no touch policy. You woke up this morning and had a verbal fight with Sarah about her commitment issues and she admitted that she loved you and then you kissed and you heard a knock on the door, which is green. Sarah tripped on Obiwan and had a nose bleed from impact and when you answered the door the police officer thought you hit her and took you into custody."

"Yeah that's pretty much it"

Jail. The last place he expected to be on a Thursday morning. He was sat in the centre of the cell exchanging stories of how each person got into jail, right now was Chuck's turn as he recounted his life to the mixture of men gathered around him. There were the bikers who wore tattered bandanas and took on the unshaven look of a matted beard, each biker was relatively powerfully built and Chuck hoped not to anger the gentle beasts. There were the psychotics, the quiet ones who slowly plotted the demise of every person in the entire cell. There were the drunks such as Jeff, who was sound asleep on the cell floor, who had no idea of their surroundings. Then there was him.

"So Sarah is the love of your life?"

"Yes, she is."

"So why did you get back together with Jill Roberts from Stanford who broke your heart by sleeping with your best friend Bryce Larkin. The Bryce Larkin who ruined your life by framing you for cheating in Professor Fleming's class thus ruining your life and setting you into a five year slum where you work at the Buy More in Burbank?"

"Yeah why did you get back with Jill?"

The crowd in the jail cell had begun to get rowdy with annoyance over Chuck's stupid decisions each was shouting their own input into Chuck's actions.

"Yeah Chuck that was stupid!"

"Didn't you say she cheated on you again?"

"Sarah would never do that."

"Hey does anyone have any beer?"

In unison the entire cell shouted.

"Go back to sleep Jeff."

"Ok guys, I'll admit it was a stupid thing to do it's just at the time me and Sarah had hit a rough patch and I thought things weren't going to ever grow into something more..."

"But if you quit then you'll never know!"

"Yeah! If you quit when the going gets tough you're going to get nowhere and be like Jeff..."

"Ok, ok! I'm sorry I was really stupid and I shouldn't have gotten back together with Jill... Will you guys forgive me?"

"Sure Chuck..."

"Ok!"

"As long as you've realised the error of your ways."

The crowd calmed down once again with Jeff snoring quietly on the cold cement floor propped against one of the cell bars, that would leave an imprint. He hoped that Sarah would come and rescue him soon, she was always rescuing him.

"So that's my story... How did you get in here?"

"I killed my girlfriend with a shoelace because she left the toilet seat down."

"Oh..."

Chuck moved away subtly from the small man whom he had now characterised as psychotic whose attention was now drawn to Chuck's converse shoe laces. Oh god please let Sarah hurry before this man kills me with my own shoelaces. I don't want my death certificate to say death by shoe lace. How does someone kill someone else with a shoelace? Maybe I'll find out... Hopefully not literally by being killed. I think it would be wiser to have my death certificate to say death by cheese... As in the cheese drug not the dairy product kind because I'm not lactose intolerant... Maybe I could choke on cheese? That would be embarrassing... Oh no I'm becoming a psychotic!

"Bartowski, Charles Irving."

"That's me! Well guys it's been nice talking to you..."

"Bye Chuck!"

"Good luck Chuck."

"Don't screw up with Sarah..."

"Don't go near any brunettes,"

"Or I'll cut you"

The entire cell turned to a re-awoken Jeff who babbled in his intoxicated state who used his hands to gesture a stabbing motion. The psychotic man who murdered his girlfriend was gazing intently at Jeff's face then turned to his shoes to find his shoe laces missing.

"Where are your shoe laces?"

"Roscoe ate them."

The man growled to himself and began muttering some sort of curse beneath his breath as Chuck walked by nervously. Quickly realising his forgetfulness he turned to one of the imprisoned bikers.

"I'm going to need that back."

He spoke pointing towards the picture the biker held of him and Sarah.

"You can make copies."

"No I only have that photo..."

"You can take a new one."

"Just give me the photo!"

"But I don't want to!"

"Marrianne just give the boy the photo..."

The unshaven, beefy biker handed Chuck the photo but not releasing his grip on the edges. He stared at the photo smiling to himself then looked almost sorrowfully as Chuck began to try and pry it away from him.

"Let it go..."

Marrianne released the photo and looked at Chuck dropping his voice a few octaves to reach a low threatening voice.

"Hurt her and I'll mow you down..."

"You don't even know where I..."

"I'LL MOW YOU DOWN!"

"Yes, yes of course I won't hurt her!"

"BARTOWSKI! You're sister is here to collect you, now hurry up before I increase the bail."

"Yes sir!"

Chuck quickly strode to the now open cell door and exited sharply giving a final wave to his cell mates. Oh no what is Ellie going to say? How about Sarah? Couldn't Sarah have just flashed her CIA credentials? No of course not... It would damage the cover at the hotel, they know she is a government official of some sort but not to what capacity. Local law enforcement isn't on a need to know... Oh no! How will the general react? Oh my god she's going to put me in a bunker! She will bunkify me – is that even a word? It may be special process made for him bunkerificationilisation. Chuck stop freaking out. This must be what a sandwich feels like. Cold, afraid, freaked out in case someone would eat them... Would the general eat me?

His thoughts were soon interrupted when he reached the door to the police station's lobby, it was 10:31 AM and he was being bailed out of jail under the grounds of beating a super spy posing as his girl friend. Even if he _wanted _to beat Sarah, which he didn't! She would neutralise him using her pinkie finger. He had finally entered the room after calming his nerves, why was he nervous? He didn't beat Sarah... Wait would this go on his record? Oh my god it'll say I'm a girlfriend beater... The only beat I do is beetroot and I don't even like that! Oh no...

"CHUCK?"

"Hey... sis..."

"I get a call at 9:30AM to tell me to collect my brother from a jail cell... My little brother with a Stanford degree from a _public _jail cell the place where felons are! I'm told that you are under arrest due to ASSAULTING Sarah. Which I know is something you would _never _do... Isn't it?"

"NO! Ellie... No. I mean Sarah tripped over Obiwan and bust her nose and the officer tricked me!"

"He's right Ellie..."

Both turned to see where the voice was coming from. Sarah. Waiting for him and cleaning up his mistakes, as usual.

"I followed up here after the patrol car and tried to pay the bail but they wouldn't let me because they were afraid I was under threat of bodily harm... They even gave me numbers to help lines, you know in case I wanted to call them..."

Sarah grinned sheepishly as she help up the collection of pamphlets she had been provided by the officers and tried to suppress a snicker failing miserably. So there stood Charles Irving Bartowski, Eleanor Faye Bartowski and Sarah Lisa Walker in a police station at 10:36AM laughing manically at the selection of leaflets Sarah held. Using the words wrote by a wise man this morning can only be described as... _Grunt._

**Added pieces: **Ok so I have some ideas floating in my head, some parts from Chuck's stable of inmates will be reused in the next chapter which I hope you will like because I get inspired by strange things! Once again I apologise about the confusion and hopefully the supermarket will help resolve any questions from the last chapter!

Oh and this is a random question but I may incorporate this into a chapter so input would be much appreciated! The way you can help?

What would you chose a meerkat or a goat?


	6. Sugar Rush

**Author's Notes: **Don't you hate it when you try to click Ctrl + B and click Ctrl + V? Anyway... Here is the 6th Chapter of the pillow fight! I'm hoping you'll like this because one day this came through my head and I thought it would be a good way to show this aspect of Sarah and Chuck's relationship and insecurities. I see how many people liked the convicts, would people like to see them more incorporated into the story? Any suggestions feel free to email or message me! Remember to review or I'll set a fleet of mongoose on you...

For the next chapter I think I'll try keep it sweet and light sort of like toast... Or a toasted pop tart!

**Chapter Six**

"Wait! Let me get this straight... You befriended a bunch of intimidating bikers, psychotic men, drunks and convicts whilst you were in jail and you told them _your _life story and they berated you for dating Jill?"

"Pretty much..."

Suppressing a snort over how right the convicts were about Jill she remembered the reason for this road trip to Tesco. Maybe she should befriend these convicts as well...

"So Ellie has us on shopping duties you say?"

"Indeed she does! She told me that milady has no food items inside the Bartowski household and it better change!"

"She said my lady?"

"No, I edited it for creative purposes."

After lapsing into a comfortable silence, after Chuck explained his encounter with the convicts, they arrived at Tesco and pulled into the parking zone. They were in the zone named the red zone, which was when Chuck began to inform Sarah all about the 'red' zone.

"You know when I was little I thought the red zone was for red cars then I realised it was stupid and it must be for angry drivers and now I am older and wiser I now realise it is for angry drivers who drive red cars. From this conclusion it appears your Porsche must be painted red..."

"Touch my Porsche and I'll make Casey's world of pain look like a merry go round."

Chuck audibly gulped trying to repress a whimper and dually noted to himself to not touch the Porsche and to stay away from Sarah's world of pain. The remainder of the walk to Tesco was silent which Sarah guessed would be from Chuck attempting to calculate how serious she was about the Porsche.

As they came towards the entrance it was clear to see the flurry of customers flocking outside the store as some entered, some left and some just stood. Serious cases of trolley rage were occurring outside the store which made the security guards seem just that bit more useful. There were two noisy black Labradors chained up next to the trolley park craving attention from each shopper that passed. A young girl stood holding a fluffy Border Collie puppy, who was being fussed over immensely by every passerby, trying to socialise it to the manic surroundings. Unable to resist the charm of the puppy Chuck pulled Sarah towards the cute bundle of fur.

"He-wo ickle wickle puppy dog!"

Sarah stared at Chuck dumbfounded at his ability to talk to the dog in a dare she say, baby voice... Chuck would make a great father but what the heck did that mean? Does he mean hello? Ickle wickle? Who says that? It's not stupid, he's undermining it!

"She's so cute! What's her name?"

"She's called Rush, after the band..."

"You're a Rush fan? Me too! Well aren't you a gorgeous puppy? Sarah isn't she gorgeous?"

"Erm... Sure she's... gorgeous?"

"She sure is! Sarah stroke her, feel how fluffy she is... You are jwust swo fwuffy! Yesh you are, oh yesh you are!"

Gingerly placing her hand on the Rush's head she began to stroke the innocent little brown eyed puppy who was overly excitable. The little black and white bundle of fur began to lick and paw at Sarah's hands and in that few seconds you could say the Sarah Walker was indeed a dog person. Finding herself in a situation she would never imagine of being in... Speaking baby talk to a small puppy.

"Awwww... You are so cuyewt!"

"Isn't she just? You are so adorwable!"

"Can I have your dog?"

The girl holding the puppy laughed and shook her head.

"Sorry but this one isn't going anywhere!"

Sarah laughed as well as she began to allow one of her hands to drift to behind her back where it was met by a hand already there. As if he knew what she was going to do he held onto her hand and pulled her away from Rush after thanking the young girl.

"You know you can't steal a puppy, ever. Especially not by force in front of a Tesco store..."

"But I wanted..."

"No buts, you _can't _do that. Number one, there would be too many witnesses. Number two, there is a security guard and lots of cameras. Number three, it's just plain wrong!"

"Fine, you know you're going to have to make this up to me?"

"I gathered that much..."

"So where's the first stop?"

"How about cereal?"

"Ok! Hey where'd you get that trolley?"

"I got it outside when you went gaga crazy over the puppy."

"I wasn't going gaga! Now come on."

Sarah pulled the trolley towards the immediate gap that gave a clear view of the aisles, which was also located next to all the checkouts filled with bustling customers.

"Hey Sarah, do you really have a death wish?"

"No, why would I?"

"Because heading into the tiger's den which consists of annoyed mothers, angry senior citizens and brain-dead jocks causes imminent death."

"Huh?"

"You're a rookie I see! Chuck's number one rule of shopping in Tesco, never take the aisle opening by the checkouts for it may appear quicker but in matter of fact the longest way is in fact the quickest!"

"Well aren't you a fountain of knowledge..."

"Indeed I am! And if you stick with me you shall understand fully how to shop in Tesco!"

"My hero."

Rolling her eyes she followed Chuck and allowed him to babble about how Tesco is a lot like the TARDIS as it appears smaller than it actually is on the inside. Within a few seconds of Chuck's successful manoeuvre his way to the cereal aisle successfully without causing many crashes.

"Ok now we have arrived at our first destination you may chose a cereal from the wide selection Miss Walker, on the left you can see Weetabix, Frosties and Cornflakes whereas on your right you can see Cocopops, Shreddies and Sugar Puffs."

"So which do I get?"

"I'm not sure what you'd like, maybe look at the packets?"

"Ok Chuck."

She smiled at him gratefully as she made her way down the aisle with him in hot pursuit as she carefully pondered over each individual cereal before something inside her snapped.

"Hey, Chuck?"

"Yes?"

"What cereal do you like?"

"Well I don't really think it matters, we're looking for..."

"Well it does matter!"

"We're here for your stuff, it doesn't matter what I like."

"But..."

"I'll have whatever cereal you have."

She picked up a box of cereal and stared gesturing wildly at it.

"Well Chuck what if I like Weetos? Huh? What about that? What if I like Weetos WITHOUT the H and you like Cheerios! Cheerios WITH the H?"

"Sarah I don't think..."

"No Chuck you don't think? I mean what if we like different cereals what will happen then Chuck? WHAT WILL HAPPEN THEN?"

"Sarah you're kind of making a scene..."

"Maybe I want to make a scene maybe that's what WEETOS make you do! And what if Cheerios make you not make a scene? How can I make a scene with someone who can't make a scene Chuck? What will happen then? Why does Weetos not have a H? WHY CHUCK?"

"If you want Weetos we can have Weetos..."

"That's not the point!"

Suddenly spotting another shopper, she rushed over to where the small brunette woman was stood. Sarah skidded in front of her clutching a box of Weetos and Cheerios in her hands.

"Weetos or Cheerios?"

"Erm..."

"ANSWER THE QUESTION!"

"Cheerios?"

"SEE CHUCK! DID YOU SEE THAT? It's _always_ brunettes and THIS ONE like Cheerios why don't you just get married and have beautiful brunette children who like Cheerios and HATE Weetos? Would you like to get married to him? He likes Cheerios AND brunettes?"

"Erm... Not really I just came for some cereal..."

"GO THEN IF YOU WONT MARRY HIM"

The woman escaped quickly from the cereal aisle and Sarah's wrath over the box of cereal turned back towards Chuck. This time she began to throw boxes of cereal towards Chuck spacing each word in-between each box of cereal.

"Why is it ALWAYS brunettes?"

Chuck began to try and duck and avoid the flying boxes of cereal but failed miserably, it didn't help that his girlfriend was a deadly CIA agent, so he was forced to do the Morgan.

"This is for Jill! And this is for Lou! And this is for any BLONDE out there."

"Sarah! Ow... For the record, ow, Sarah has a H and so does Chuck. Oww"

"I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY!"

"Why would I be..."

"Because that was my last box of Weetos!"

**Author Notes: **Ok so I left it there because well I thought it was a good place to end the Weetos fight... xD I'm going to try bring the BuyMore, Casey and hopefully more Morgan! I've noticed Team Chuck doesn't have a mission yet but trust me I have some ideas I think you'll like and they'll start to be put into action hopefully next chapter. I think this is a good way to let Chuck see how he hurt Sarah with Jill and Lou and how it really is always brunettes! But I can't blame Chuck... We brunettes are awesome ;)


	7. Fresh and Easy

**Author's Notes: **Sorry to all the Americans who got confused with the rebellious English nonsense! Although I loved HarrissBoBarriss' comment about the intersections because it reminded me of the Simpsons episode when they visited England... Anyway the point of the last chapter was to show Sarah hasn't been in a relationship so she doesn't really understand this sort of stuff. I'm not going to have her acting as though she is on PMS all the time though :P Back at you big cousin! Also there is a kid at my school with the last name Obiwan! I need to become his friend...

I thought I'd share my funny action of the week today! I was searching through Chuck stuff on the web in school in my IT lesson and I came across various articles saying Chuck was renewed officially so I went crazy and hyper and so giddy. I posted on a forum and I was asked about the source and I went to get it and then I realised it was an old article... Embarrassing much? Heh... I'm prone to this stuff. Anyway I discovered something amazing too, a reason you should all review is because reviewing is like an Author's drug it gets them high and loopy s REVIEW! 8D

**Chapter Seven**

"Hi..."

"Hey,"

Sarah stood in the doorway to Chuck's lair nervously waiting after the supermarket, for lack of a better word, incident. It was safe to say that Sarah Walker would hopefully never go on another run for supplies especially not in Tesco, although on the bright side at least Chuck's parking zone theory was almost accurate. Luckily when they'd returned no one had been in at Casa Bartowski and Chuck had left to his room after much persistent persuasion from Sarah who needed to 'clear her head'. She wasn't sure if Casey was in his house or not but when they arrived he hadn't surfaced so she had guessed that he wasn't in or just saw that Sarah was in a mood that should not be tested.

"What're you holding?"

"Oh this? It's a scrambler to stop Casey eavesdropping or watching us, I'm beginning to think he enjoys it..."

"Casey has his... quirks."

"Quirky... That's a kind way of saying he's creepy isn't it?"

"Pretty much."

They were both avoiding the subject of what happened at the supermarket, but avoiding the issue was like trying to ignore the pink elephant in the room. No doubt they'd have to discuss the cereal problem but possibly Chuck may also was to consider mentioning the fact she tried to steal a puppy... But in her defence it was an incredibly cute puppy. The cereal on the other hand had bruised Chuck in various places including on his forehead, which would mean they would need to make a cover excuse not involving Sarah throwing food items... She hoped.

"How's your head?"

"It's good, I think the other guy came off worse."

She grinned sheepishly and let out a small giggle.

"I'm sorry about that, I mean throwing boxes of small chocolate flavoured wheat hoops at you... And for trying to escape the security guard by scaling the aisle of cereals... Oh and getting us banned from Tesco in Burbank for life... Did I forget anything?"

"Well you stole a brunette woman's shopping cart but other than that you pretty much got everything..."

"Oh yeah... Sorry about that too, and the whole Tesco..."

"Fresh and Easy..."

"When did we start calling Carina that?"

"No! I didn't mean to insinuate, I mean that Tesco is called Fresh and Easy... How did you get Carina out of that? Actually never mind..."

"Yeah Tesco is more catchy."

"Anyway don't worry about the... Erm... Weetos."

"Chuck I've been your girlfriend for little over," Quickly glancing at the clock radio next to her, "four hours and I've already gotten you arrested, caused you bodily harm with cereal and gotten both of us banned for Te-Fresh and Easy..."

"Hey don't think of it that way! We'll get better at this, we just have to avoid Fresh and Easy in Burbank."

Then he smiled that smile that made everything in the world seem so perfect and... _right._ Yes with a smile like that he could convince anyone that they did the right thing or everything will be better tomorrow. That smile that inevitably made her smile goofily, and involuntarily let out a small chortle.

She closed the distance between the two and leaned into his side sighing happily allowing his arm to drape around her waist and hold her next to him.

"You know with this - this thing we're doing, we're going to have to keep it from the government... So we'd be undercover... Oh god! I didn't imply that we'd be doing, erm – that... Not that we won't be doing that! I mean only if you wanted to do _that. _I mean I'm not suggesting we will be in bed..."

"I get it, well I mean not that we won't be like doing _that_, but well never mind you get it... Maybe we should both just stop talking and do something else – and that sounded better in my head than it did out loud."

"Yeah I'm guessing the 'I can be your very own baggage handler' sounded better there too..."

"How about Miss 'I'm not sure I'm able to receive calls because I never gone one from you'?"

"Well you were supposed to call then I wouldn't have used my line..."

"Probably but my plan wouldn't have worked then."

"What plan?"

"My plan for the Sarah Seduction," She unsuccessfully tried to stifle a laugh. "Very well then. I hired the ballerina and the man and the entire scene was practiced so were all the spectators and Harry Tang's interruption."

"No they weren't..."

"How did you?"

"Because you're not that planned plus I'm sorry but you're not really the type to... _seduce._"

"Hey I seduced you!"

"No Chuck you wore me down after two years, that's not seduction it's called erosion."

"Erosion." He playfully feigned a hurt look before leaping onto her pinning her onto his bed. "How about this for erosion?" Spacing each word between a soft kiss. "Am I seductive now?"

"Hmmm.... Ah... You'll have to convince me"

Grinning devilishly he moved his head to the crook of her neck and started playfully nipping forcing Sarah to let out an involuntary moan. He looked up at her showing a lopsided grin as he began his forward assault on her crashing his lips into hers passionately.

"Hey Chuck... WOAH! Releasing that excess Wang energy Chuckster, AWESOME!"

They had been so entwined with each other neither had noticed that no other than Captain Awesome had walked into the room with his awesome timing and had watched them awesomely about to consummate their relationship.

"Hey, isn't Sarah usually on top?"

"DEVON!"

A booming voice came behind him belonging to the other Bartowski.

"So you went shopping I see, among other things..."

She stared at Chuck and Sarah's slightly dishevelled state. In the other hand Chuck and Sarah had been less than amused to be interrupted at such a time although Devon and Ellie hadn't picked up on the disappointment and anger and played it off as embarrassment.

"Yeah we decided Wal-mart had more selection and we bought Fruit Loops..."

"Oh ok, I thought Sarah could convince you to try a more mature choice of cereal rather than... Fruit Loops."

"Hey you don't have to be small to enjoy the rainbow!"

"As I've been told... I'm going to get in the shower I have a double shift tonight – Devon?"

"Of course babe," Awesome winked at Ellie who was walking into the bedroom suggestively.

"Ew, that's my sister..."

"Oh yeah I forgot to mention about this awesome hike I did today Chuck!" Awesome shouted loudly then lowered his voice to a whisper "Casey said that he wanted to talk to you guys about you know," he looked around carefully to make sure no one was there "Spy stuff."

"Ok Devon."

"Haha Chuck that's awesome!" Devon roared as he made his way towards the bedroom with an exaggerated wink.

"And that was Awesome being awesome?" Sarah looked at Chuck questionably.

"We're working on it... Come on Casey's waiting, oh and you should probably turn that off" he gestured towards the small black signal jammer that had an uncanny resemblance of his remote.

"Oh of course, let's go."

* * *

"I'm sorry to disturb you dumping your potato chip in Walker's salsa but we have a national security matter that couldn't wait,"

His voice dripped with sarcasm as he grunted and headed towards his front door followed closely by an intimidated Chuck and a slightly annoyed Sarah.

"You left me to talk to your nitwit of a brother-in-law who by the way keeps saluting every time he sees me, I swear to god I'll break his little-"

"Colonel Casey."

"Ma'am"

"General"

Chuck smirked at Casey being caught by the General when he was about to suggest painful methods of teaching Devon about salutations, until his thoughts were disturbed by Casey's foot connecting with his toes to acknowledge the general.

"Ow... Ma'am"

"You have a new mission."

**Author's Notes: **So finally a mission! Chuck's going to need a new cover as well because of his lack of a BuyMore, anyone want to suggest? Oh and Meerkat won so you shall see what that's going to be about! There is a hint about a possible story line in here too for anyone who is interested :P Hopefully it makes sense but we warned I plan to make the next chapter random... Wait till you hear the mission... Remember REVIEW! 8D


	8. Barnyard Animals with Upholstery

**Elp the Author's Notes: **Yeah this chapter should have been ready about a week ago but things came up... Then I started writing then I realised I didn't like pacing. Then there wasn't enough randomness... So yeah this is like the seventh re-write. It was also my birthday! So... Hopefully you'll find this chapter your dose of the wonderfully weird mind of MJay. I did something incredibly when making this chapter! I drank some Dr Pepper mixed with Iron Bru with two table spoons filled with sugar and also I added a dollop of both syrup and chocolate sauce! It tasted really nice. In my defence if this chapter is totally psycho blame it on all the chocolate and sugar I've had! Oh and anyone seen the new Startrek? It's awesome 8D My friends refused to watch it with me so I went with my dad to see it Hey! I'm a nerd and darn proud!

Oh and reviews make me helium happy so give them to me! And if you would be awesome enough to tell me your thoughts on the questions at the bottom – it's just picking which you think are best :P

**Chapter Eight**

"The target it Kashib Arraz-"

The familiar sensation swept over Chuck's face like a tidal wave, his soft facial features tensed as the flash took effect and fed him the relevant information on Kashib Arraz. Just as quickly as it had begun it ended, but as always he felt the urge to sneeze... Stupid-almost-sneeze-flash.

"Kashib Arraz is the middle eastern heir to the multi-millionare electronic games company, Gamatex, although the company is not directly involved their workers have connections with FULCRUM and terrorist group I've never heard of called DAX. I'm guessing DAX is an extension to The Ring."

"As the intersect-"

"Mr Bartowski."

The General glared at him.

"- explained Gamatrex's taskforce has shown direct contact with FULCRUM."

Chuck threw his left hand in the air waving it frantically as if he was a school pupil desperate to please his teacher by answering an important question.

"Oooh! Oooh! Pick me! Pick ME!"

He exclaimed pushing his hand further in the air like an impatient child, however he was immediately silenced by a sharp pain in his toes caused by Casey's foot connecting with his.

"Owww..."

"Moron."

Casey whispered back. At this point Chuck began to wonder if Casey had used his foot with only four toes but decided it was best not to ask for health reasons.

"Excuse me, Ma'am"

He emphasised the usage on the word 'Ma'am' before continuing

"Seeing as Gametrex is known worldwide for its video games wouldn't it be possible that messages could be passed through the game as code perhaps to forward information whilst stay inconspicuous to the government. We are dealing with FULCRUM here, or The Ring, DAX or the latest bad guy club of the week."

"I'll put a team on it." She seemed disinterested with his idea but continued. "Meanwhile Team Bartowski must recover some Intel that was stolen from one of our Langley offices, we believe it was an attack by a terrorist group related to The Ring that remains unnamed. This chip contains information about the intersect's destruction to Bryce Larkin's death, we _need _that microchip back."

"Excuse me General, but does this Intel compromise our covers?"

Ignoring Sarah's question the General continued oblivious.

"Agent Walker, you and Mr Bartowski will pose as a tourist couple visiting LA, Colonel Casey you will be ready to assist if problems arise under the pretence of being a staff member at the zoo. As for your covers, the Intel contains implications of your involvement."

"Let me get this straight, our mission is at a... zoo?"

Boring holes into Chuck's head as she spoke she adapted a tone as if talking to a small infant whom had just asked a stupid question.

"Yes Mr Bartowski that is correct, is that a problem?"

"No..."

He exclaimed quickly drawing out the last syllable of 'no' before tightly pursing his lips realising it was the best cause of action. He gestured her to continue.

"The team will head out to the 'Safari Animal Zoo' later today and track the chip using its unique GPS. As your covers have been compromised you will need to find new cover jobs and a new location for a base of operations."

She gave him a harsh glare before continuing as though she was blaming him for the new cover jobs, it wasn't his fault he thought he was done and left the BuyMore...

"Any questions?"

As soon as the question was asked the conference was terminated, he guessed that she thought no one would question her.

"What if I actually _did _have a question? What would she do then? She's not telepathic! It's stupid she should at least wait to check-"

"She guessed you would have a moronic question because you're a moron so she spared herself the torture."

"That still hurts me in here" He gestured wildly towards his heart. "Just as much as it did last time because I remember it in here..." He pointed to his head whilst tapping it several times.

"You know I think I still have some Tranq Darts over here in my drawer..."

"CASEY!"

"What Walker? Afraid I'll hurt your super computer boyfriend? Kind of like when you cut my surveillance and I'm guessing you weren't discussing upholstery in there..."

"I resent the fact that-"

"That's nice I really have enjoyed our little meetings-" He guided them towards the door. "We should do it again sometime, really. Now if you would kindle leave I need to disinfect my sofa."

He indicated where Chuck had sat down briskly before steering them out the doorway. Suddenly he stopped Chuck and shoved a newspaper against him adopting a menacing tone.

"Next time you even think about insulting my missing toe remember I will inflict my world of pain on you. " Changing his voice back to its normal gruff pitch "Get searching, I don't like wasting tax payers dollars on your inability to keep a job."

"Hey! I-"

BANG. The door to Casey's was slammed shut as Chuck was pushed out of the doorway narrowly missing the large piece of solid wood.

"That was kind of rude... Hey! Do you think Beckman and Casey are related?"

"Well their noses are kind of similar."

"Hmmm"

The two stood and pondered for a second obviously picturing both Beckman's and Casey's noses and comparing them.

"Ok lets go inside and look at the jobs adverts."

She began to head towards the front door of Casa Bartow-Woodcomb. Casa Woodcomb. It was still difficult to correct the name of the apartment after Ellie had become married.

"Err... Wait."

"Huh?"

"Morgan Door."

"Why the-"

"Just trust me."

After all he didn't need to see the sequel to the show in the shower.

* * *

"Juggler!"

"No."

"Ooooh Bartender very suave-"

"No."

"Lion tamer. Circus freak. Dancer. Shepherd... Fruit sales man!"

"No, no, no, no, and no."

"Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! This is perfect! A monk!"

"So you'd like to be celibate for-"

"On second thought..."

"Thought so."

"Well this is useless."

She nudged Chuck slightly crumpling her side of the paper slightly as she leaned further into his chest moulding her body next to his surprisingly muscular figure. She could feel her rationality deteriorating as she melted into his scent, it smelt like Chuck. Which she knew was weird but it was hard to explain how he smelt. He always had an imprint of Ellie's cooking on him with a slight aroma of cologne. Oh and his hair. Those luscious curls that smelt of coconut. The most prominent smell Chuck had that made him who he is today is his_ nerd _smell. You may wonder what a nerd smell is. It's that smell when you just buy a new book or a new DVD and you push your face down and take a sniff of the fresh plastic.

Rationalise Walker. You have several red circles on the paper that Chuck had made but no black circles which meant this has all been a waste of time. Especially seeing as the CIA will change whatever job they decided seeing as the location wasn't viable for a secret base. So this whole process is a waste of time. There could be many different better ways to be spending their time together, possibly another game of tonsil hockey...

"Sarah... Sarah?"

Huh? Had he been talking to her this entire time and she hadn't noticed. It's all thanks to his stupid nerd scent. How long had he been saying her name?

"Sorry kind of spaced out, what's up?"

"I was asking if you wanted a shower because I was going to get in but if you wanted to-"

"Are you asking me to _join _you in the shower?"

Raising her eyebrows seductively as she spoke.

"Erm... No I didn't mean to... Imply that we would... Shower... Erm... Together? Unless you wanted to... Which I'm not saying you do!"

"Relax I was joking."

Her tone suggested what they both had nearly forgotten. The surveillance. Stupid Casey with his nine toes, oh no! He'd just gave Casey permission to put him into a world of pain... The weirdest part? The government was paying it's spies to go to a... Zoo.

**Author's Notes: **Sorry this was way later than expected, I've been really busy with real life stuff and quite frankly I've been having trouble coping with everything. I won't go into much detail... Hey but what is Secondary school without drama? The next chapter may be dark depending on my mood. Sorry...


	9. Trunks follow trails

**Author's Notes: **Don't you love how when you re-read a chapter you notice little mistakes? Like on the other chapter I put 'kindle' instead of 'kindly'... Lol! I haven't thrown you guys a bone in a while for this fic so it's way overdue, I also noticed I forgot questions on the other chapter. It appears I'm a douche! But you guys love me with my douche-istic qualities so you _will _review.

**Chapter Nine**

"You see Penguins are ingenious! They're birds and technically they're colourless because black and white aren't colours! They eat fish too – which means they invented sushi . Does that make them Japanese?"

The small six year old boy finished explaining to me why penguins were so amazing, I hadn't believed anyone to be more enthusiastic about penguins than Chuck until I'd met this boy. I'm guessing his name was Alfie seeing as that's what his hat said, well his hat hadn't talked but you get the idea, but I didn't want to ask. Waiting for Chuck to save me. It was about 1:36PM when Chuck left so I was waiting for him to return with the zoo feed, although I had no idea what zoo feed was.

By the time Chuck returned, a devastatingly long ten minutes later, he was holding a small bag with a picture of an elephant on it with a slogan as the bottom 'Trunks follow trails' which was a strangely appropriate slogan. Alfie was in the middle of telling me why pigeons should be put in zoos when his mum pulled him away, for the short time it took Chuck to return I missed the little boy's insistent nattering until Chuck broke the short silence in a hushed tone.

"I tried to get some zoo feed but Casey was serving and I asked for it and he put a tracker for the data inside and when I asked for some more he told me I wasn't allowed, but I couldn't find any of the self service machines to buy some so we'll just have to get some later."

"Ok Chuck, let's get going!"

"Yeah! Plenty of monkeys to spy..."

"Chuck, I think that we should get the data chip first then we can look around the zoo afterwards without any... disturbances."

"Ok then! To wherever the chip is!"

__

It was about thirty minutes later when they arrived at where the microchip had shown activity on the GPS that Casey had provided. Sarah signalled him to stop. Looking up from the bag that they'd both been staring at...

"This can't be right."

He leaned over her shoulder to look at the inside of the bag.

"But it's saying that the microchip is over there..."

He pointed towards the direction that the GPS had fixed on, as he looked up realisation dawned upon him and he realised the same thing that Sarah had just a moment ago.

"Wait it's moving!"

"But the only thing moving is the..."

"We should call Casey."

"But if the GPS it must be inside the..."

"Oh no."

"It's inside the meerkat!"

"Walker, secure. Casey we have a problem."

"No, not that kind of problem."

"Yes it's a big problem!"

"A _very_ big problem" was offered by Chuck who was rewarded with a grin from her.

"The microchip is inside... well it's inside a meerkat!"

"Damn it Casey! We need to get that microchip."

She brought her hand to her forehead and pushed against it.

"What happened to Casey?"

"He got called out on a job, some little kid and an ice cream cone... I didn't ask for specifics."

"Ok so what do we have to do about the meerchip."

"I have an idea..."

"No we are not going to!"

"What? It could be our first activity together as a real couple!"

"Committing the kidnapping of a meerkat! Yeah that's one to tell the kids!"

"Fine but we _have _to get that chip which means we _have _to get the meerkat."

"Alright! I'll go get the meerkat and you keep watch."

"Ok... Oh Chuck wait a second!"

She quickly pressed laid a chaste kiss on his lips before huskily whispering a thank you. Ok all he had to do was kidnap a meerkat without raising any suspicion, in a zoo. Making his way to the fence, that was no more than three foot, he saw a sign 'WARNING: Meerkats bite – keep your hands away from the fence' yes this made him feel a lot safer. _Not_. He clambered over the fence into the Meerkat enclosure landing with a thud.

"Oww... Don't freak out."

A selection of meerkats curiously stared at him obviously wondering whether to proceed to investigate. Ok. The GPS tracker says it's there... Oh no. There are at least five of them there, how to know which one? Twisting quickly to Sarah and giving her the thumbs up accompanied by an extremely sheepish grin. I could _really _use some zoo feed right now. Think about this rationally Chuck. They're happy little furry creatures... With teeth.

"They're more afraid of you than you are of them!"

Gingerly taking a step forward after Sarah's shouts of encouragement as he muttered to himself her words. They're more afraid of you than you are of them. Wait. Why are they all gathering together? They're planning something. I know it. They're planning the most efficient way to take me down and attack me to a little cart to take me to their leader. In a small cave. They're going to hit me over the head drag me to their lair. I'm being kidnapped by a meerkat extremist. Great.

The meerkat group began darting off in each direction but the five meerkats that Chuck was interested remained in the centre of their den in plain view. It's obviously some sort of trap. They know I want to steal one of the meerkats so they've adapted defensive manoeuvres to take me down. Maybe I should give up... NO! Sarah is counting on me.

With a new found courage he strode towards the den confidently ignoring the patter of small feet closing in on him as much as possible. Their constant circling on him had became worrying a couple of seconds ago and soon his courage dissipated and fear resounded in its place. They were getting closer. Noting his danger he began to run towards the group of five followed by an army of angry meerkats.

"They're more afraid of me than I am of them."

He chanted to himself as he ran towards the meerchip as quickly as he could. He was only a few metres in front of the meerkat he wanted now – all he had to do was find out which one had the chip and he could snatch it quickly. If he could just-

"Oomph!"

He seemed to fall in slow motion and come crashing to the ground so he was immediately in front of the meerkat gathering. He let out a strained breath from the ground trying to hoist himself up from the dirt covered ground of their den but there was a weight on his back that he couldn't shake. He was going to die in a meerkat enclosure.

__

_Meanwhile back at the ranch-erm... outside the enclosure..._

"What is he-oh... Is that meerkat? Oh my god. It is. Why is it..."

A woman and her child wandered past the enclosure trying to catch a glimpse of the meerkats in their not-so-natural habitat.

"Mommy – what's that man doing with the meerkats?"

"They're playing... Just playing."

Even as she said it, it was clear that the child didn't believe her and the woman was just trying to reassure herself. She gave Sarah a confused look and hurried over to the next enclosure attempting to cover her child's eyes in the process. Not so sure what to do with herself at this moment as she watched her _real _boyfriend being... _mated _by the meerkats.

__

_The meerkat enclosure..._

"What are you doing to me? Get off! Leave me alone... What are you doing? Leave me... It's just been a really hard day. You obviously don't care."

Flailing around on the ground pinned down by the meerkats whom were glad they had finally found their extra mate. Damn it. He _needed _to get the chip now. Maybe if he tried to roll over on his front... Trying his hardest he began to throw his weight to his right so he could escape easier and throw them off his trail.

"Aha!"

He successfully rolled onto his front – only to be attacked by the meerkats again. He began to try pry them away from his torso in hope it would also be able to free his legs that also appeared to be heavier to lift. Looking down towards the meerkats as he come to realization...

"Oh no. You're not! What are you doing? Stop it! STOP MATING ME! I have a girlfriend! This isn't appropriate – or wanted!"

He flailed wildly throwing the meerkat away from himself tearing off his jacket in the process. Get meerchip. Get out... Without being mated again.

"Come here meerkat... Meerkat, meerkat, meerkat!"

Pulling out the GPS tracker and hovering it over each individual meerkat until he came to the fourth meerkat.

"You swallowed my chip! Now we just quickly get-HEY! You can't run away!"

The meerkat skidded past Chuck towards the army seeking safety in their presence – but he knew that they couldn't lose this data.

__

_Meanwhile back at the ranch-erm... outside the enclosure..._

"Oh my god. What is he doing?"

__

_The meerkat enclosure..._

"Noooo!"

Chuck sprang into a dive trapping the meerkat holding the chip underneath him as the other meerkats approached in army formation. Seeing this was his chance to steal the meerkat he wrapped it in his jacket quickly to avoid its claws and teeth.

"Gotcha!"

His joy was short lived however as the meerkats picked up pace towards him.

"Aaaahhhh! Sarah! Help me NOW!"

Rushing towards the enclosure fence he ran as everything appeared to slow down as each converse trainer pounded the ground followed by the patter of the meerkat feet behind. The fence appeared to be getting closer. The meerkat were gaining on him as he pushed them away trying to grapple the meerchip into a secure hold so that it couldn't escape.

Noticing Chuck's plight, Sarah rushed to the fence of the enclosure waiting and shouting cheers and encouragement for him to move faster. She waited for the meerkat like a member of a relay team.

"Run faster Chuck! Quickly! They're catching up to you!"

Eventually he slammed into the fence to the enclosure startling Sarah momentarily as she grabbed hold of the meerkat allowing Chuck to clamber over the fence quickly. This time he remained on his feet even though he was seemingly out of breath.

"What now?"

She was using her concentration face – you know the one where she purses her lip...

"That was just the foreplay Chuck. The big game is getting out."

Spluttering as he spoke

"That was just the... what?"

"Come on we have to go."

She pushed away from him holding the meerkat as though it were a newborn. She hoped that he hadn't seen her blush rising from her neck to her cheeks.

"Call Casey – tell him I have the chip."

"Yeah of course!"

They hurried through the most secluded route that they could find rushing away from the angered meerkats.

"Casey, it's Chuck – we have the chip"

"Why would you say that?"

"Now that's just nasty!"

"Do you want the chip or not?"

"Fine."

"No I would not like a personalized bunker."

"Ok we'll meet you there."

"By-He hung up on me."

They carried on through their path towards the meeting point...

"Sarah we have to head to the turtle enclosure near the fence-"

"Look at the turtles Marcus!"

The woman and her child who Sarah had previously seen at the meerkat enclosure saw the pair and their meerkat thieving antics. She stared at the pair suspiciously taking her son away from the turtles quickly.

"Come on Chuck we have to get out of here now!"

"Why did that woman give me evil looks?"

"Come on love birds and pass the chip – what the? Is that a meerkat?"

Casey pulled aside a piece of fencing allowing the pair to scuttle under as he was passed the meerkat.

"Look Caset I think she likes you!"

"Ah she does! I mean-My fist likes your face too Bartowski!"

As the trio clambered into Casey's Crown Vic with the meerkat and sped away from the scene.

__

**Author's Notes: **Ok! So all the mistakes are my own and I hope I covered that enough. I hope it's amusing enough for my very lovely reviewing audience... I'm sure you'll all review like GOOD readers do! So... How 'bout those meerkats? Anyone got any good weird ideas for me to cover too? No Meerkats were harmed in the making of this chapter.


	10. Disobedience

**Author's Notes:** Ok I know this is overdue but I hoped the hilarity would make up for this... I suppose the Pillow Fight it my way of letting lose my secret (or not so secret) random thoughts out. So please enjoy and read and review ;)

**Chapter Ten**

The box said a generous helping. Sarah used a generous helping. Why was this happening? She followed the instructions perfectly and this was happening? Why was this happening?

"You overflow anymore and I will kick your mechanical ass"

Sarah growled angrily at the disobedient washing machine which didn't seem to take her instruction well as more of the cloudy sud-filled water began to pour out of every available hole. Chuck asked her to do the laundry-ok so Chuck _didn't _ask her to do the washing but she was certain he was thinking it. Be a normal girlfriend. Normal girlfriends do the washing. So none of this was Sarah's fault really, it was Chuck's fault for mentally passing chores over to Sarah.

She pushed her palm over the washing machine door and pushed in forcefully trying to reseal the liquid but alas it did not work. She growled again as the utility room's level of water began to slowly rise. And since when did Chuck even have a utility room? Who has a utility room? Where is their maid? She moaned. Her feet were now soaking and probably shaping into prunes from the steadily rising water. Stupid washing machine.

"Stop doing this to me!"

The washing machine growled in protest at her anger responding by sending a spurt of filthy water into her face. This resulted in Sarah screaming and shouting swear words and some made up words, she snarled her nose and narrowed her eyes.

"If that's how you want to play it."

She roared. It was at that moment when Sarah Walker delivered a roundhouse kick to the left hand side of the washing machine, she heard a crunch and smiled in satisfaction until... _Click. _A whizzing noise steadily increased in volume until there was a snap and the front of the washing machine crashed to the ground.

"This can't be good."

Of course at this point Sarah bent down to check the damage causing the lower part of her body (beneath her hips) to become slimy and wet from the washing machine's... vomit? It all happened within a few seconds, she leaned towards the machine which growled at her and responded by squirting at least a gallon of water in her face. Even when she stood up the water continued to gush furiously.

"Something to stop the water."

It was if the God's were answering her now as she spotted a large knitted rag, she grabbed it and shoved it into where the flood was growing. To her distaste the rag disintegrated upon impact.

"Stupid rag."

It was then which Sarah heard the noise of the front door opening and slamming shut loudly. Oh no. _Chuck's home._ She heard him shouting her name... Maybe if she stayed quiet he wouldn't notice her missing and wouldn't hear the water or... Oh no. He'll be able to see it seeping out from under the door. Maybe she could just drown in here quietly.

"Sarah why do I hear water running?"

He shouted curiously, he was finding her out. It was only a matter of time now. It was his fault for making her do chores. He was close now she could hear his footsteps.

"Why is there so much water out here? Sara-ARGH! WHAT THE HELL?!"

The event passed quickly as the utility room's door swung open and Sarah was met by a shocked looking Chuck who was knocked off his feet at the current of the murky water. She heard him let out a shocked scream as it happened and her instinct kicked in as she reached down to grab him. She missed him and landed face first in the water as the gushing water managed to hit her in the ass and cause her to lose her balance. She heard Chuck's voice shout above the water.

"SARAH! TURN THE WATER OFF!"

She pulled herself out of the water spitting out all the suds.

"WHERE IS IT?"

"IT'S THE BIG BUTTON LABELLED WATER!"

She clambered up walking towards the strong currents.

"WHERE IS IT?"

"ABOVE THE WASHER."

She could see it now, a large switch with 'WATER' labelled in bold above it. She was so close now. Nearly there. GOT IT! The water seemed to grow in current now rather than die down as she struggled to stay upright.

"SARAH YOU MUST'VE TURNED OFF THE ELECTRICITY!"

He shouted from across the room. Sarah looked around grappling onto the top of the washing machine.

"I CAN READ!"

She shouted agitatedly as she twisted her head to check the switches. Ooops... She _had _switched off the electricity – but Chuck didn't need to know that she thought quickly. Her fist impacted the water button quickly, she made sure to turn the electricity on as withdrew her hand. The water died down immediately and soon the gushing water had stopped completely. Chuck sighed.

"What happened?"

"I was doing the washing , like you told me to do, then the washing machine just broke."

He gave her a confused look.

"I didn't tell you to do any washing?"

"No but you thought it!"

He stared at her as if she were some sort of alien opening his mouth to speak then stopping.

"I'll go phone the plumber..."

He turned around and began making his way out of the room.

"Oh and the whisk broke too!"

"The whisk?"

"It wouldn't obey me. It had it coming."

He nodded his head again.

"Oh and the fridge-"

"That broke too?"

"No but it should watch out."

Chuck's eyes widened at Sarah's announcement as he walked away. Sarah stood in the utility room until Chuck returned, this time he brought Casey with him – she was unsure how he got Casey. For a moment she wondered if he was stored in Chuck's cupboard which made her wonder why he hadn't come to help her with the washing machine. Then she remembered he lived across the courtyard...

"The washing machine broke that was all."

"You and Walker trying to play house Bartowski?"

Sarah shot him a death glare.

"Maybe Barbie and Ken should move into a dream house and-IS THAT BLANKIE?!"

Casey's face adapted a shocked expression mixed with sadness as he pointed towards the rag Sarah had used to stop the flooding. Chuck's eyes widened.

"IS IT?!"

"Casey I'm-"

"MY MOTHER KNITTED THIS! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO BLANKIE!"

He reached down and grabbed hold of the remains of the rag, also known as Blankie, and clutched it close to his chest. Chuck stared to the ground as Sarah stared at Casey in curiousity.

"You'll pay for this Bartowski. World of pain."

"B-b-b-but Casey it was... SARAH! It was Sarah."

Sarah's face twisted from curiosity to shock to anger.

"YOU _told _me to do the washing."

Casey growled.

"If you hadn't told Walker to do chores then-"

"I didn't tell her to!"

"She's a spy not a housewife!"

And with that Casey stormed out of Casa Bartowski. Sarah opened the washing machine door and held up one of Chuck's old white nerd herd shirts which was now a dirty brown colour. She sighed.

"I ruined your shirt."

Chuck shook his head and waded his way through the water.

"No I like my shirt this colour."

"Hmmph."

Sarah snarled her nose in distaste and threw the shirt to the ground.

"I messed up."

Chuck's arms found their way around Sarah's waist almost immediately as she melted into his embrace.

"Nah... The washing machine was being disobedient."

__

**Author's Notes: **This idea is from Wepdiggy (see reviews). Please read and review ;)


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